144nd Day of the 13th Year After

Last night I had a very disturbing dream. I woke up, but it was not in my remembrance until after I lay there in bed for a few minutes. Then when it came to my remembrance it troubled me!

In the dream it showed that I went somewhere far away, with my husband. I do not know where we were, but it was in another city. We went because my husband said to go. But I did not enquire of the Lord as to if we should go, or not, and neither did I ask the Lord to put a stop to this, if my husband was making a bad decision that would affect the whole family!

A customer of ours, named John called me on my cell phone and said that he would pick up our kids from school, since there was no way that we could get back into town in time. I did not want him to keep the kids, so I called my father, who is a Man of God and asked him if he would not mind getting the kids for me. I asked him, "Is it okay?"

There was a short pause on the phone, and his voice was very low, and then he answered, to my surprise, "No, it is not okay."

He then went on to say that the Lord was going to kill me and that I needed to go to Lamentations!

I was so afraid and sad. I asked the Lord to forgive me, but even when I spoke it, it did not seem that I was as fearful as I should have been. It was as if I were two people in one! I could hear myself asking this, but I could also feel what I was feeling, and it did not seem to me that the sincere sorrow, called Godly sorrow, was there, when I asked the Lord to forgive me!

There were other things going on in my mind, too. I yought about all the things, that I sat quiet and took blame for, that was not my fault. I yought about my husband was as guilty as me, but I did not say anything. I also yought about, it was my job to watch the children. And why was I not at my job? How did I get pulled so far away from what I was supposed to be doing, and left the children unattended?

In the Book of Lamentations 1, it says: "How has the Lord covered the daughter of Zion with a cloud in his anger, and cast down from heaven unto the earth the beauty of Israel, and remembered not his footstool in the day of his anger! The Lord has swallowed up all the habitations of Jacob, and has not pitied: he has thrown down in his wrath the strong holds of the daughter of Judah; he has brought them down to the ground: he has polluted the kingdom and the princes thereof. He has cut off in his fierce anger all the horn of Israel: he has drawn back his right hand from before the enemy, and he burned against Jacob like a flaming fire, which devours round about. He has bent his bow like an enemy: he stood with his right hand as an adversary, and slew all that were pleasant to the eye in the tabernacle of the daughter of Zion: he poured out his fury like fire. The Lord was as an enemy: he has swallowed up Israel, he has swallowed up all her palaces: he has destroyed his strong holds, and has increased in the daughter of Judah mourning and lamentation. And he has violently taken away his tabernacle, as if it were of a garden: he has destroyed his places of the assembly: the LORD has caused the solemn feasts and sabbaths to be forgotten in Zion, and has despised in the indignation of his anger the king and the priest. The Lord has cast off his altar, he has abhorred his sanctuary, he has given up into the hand of the enemy the walls of her palaces; they have made a noise in the house of the LORD, as in the day of a solemn feast. The LORD has purposed to destroy the wall of the daughter of Zion: he has stretched out a line, he has not withdrawn his hand from destroying: therefore he made the rampart and the wall to lament; they languished together. Her gates are sunk into the ground; he has destroyed and broken her bars: her king and her princes are among the Gentiles: the law is no more; her prophets also find no vision from the LORD. The elders of the daughter of Zion sit upon the ground, and keep silence: they have cast up dust upon their heads; they have girded themselves with sackcloth: the virgins of Jerusalem hang down their heads to the ground. Mine eyes do fail with tears, my bowels are troubled, my liver is poured upon the earth, for the destruction of the daughter of my people; because the children and the sucklings swoon in the streets of the city. They say to their mothers, Where is corn and wine? when they swooned as the wounded in the streets of the city, when their soul was poured out into their mothers’ bosom. What thing shall I take to witness for you? what thing shall I liken to you, O daughter of Jerusalem? what shall I equal to you, that I may comfort you, O virgin daughter of Zion? for your breach is great like the sea: who can heal you? Your prophets have seen vain and foolish things for you: and they have not discovered your iniquity, to turn away your captivity; but have seen for you false burdens and causes of banishment. All that pass by clap their hands at you; they hiss and wag their head at the daughter of Jerusalem, saying, Is this the city that men call The perfection of beauty, The joy of the whole earth? All your enemies have opened their mouth against you: they hiss and gnash the teeth: they say, We have swallowed her up: certainly this is the day that we looked for; we have found, we have seen it. The LORD has done that which he had devised; he has fulfilled his word that he had commanded in the days of old: he has thrown down, and has not pitied: and he has caused your enemy to rejoice over you, he has set up the horn of your adversaries. Their heart cried unto the Lord, O wall of the daughter of Zion, let tears run down like a river day and night: give yourself no rest; let not the apple of your eye cease. Arise, cry out in the night: in the beginning of the watches pour out your heart like water before the face of the Lord: lift up your hands toward him for the life of your young children, that faint for hunger in the top of every street. Behold, O LORD, and consider to whom you have done this. Shall the women eat their fruit, and children of a span long? shall the priest and the prophet be slain in the sanctuary of the Lord? The young and the old lie on the ground in the streets: my virgins and my young men are fallen by the sword; you have slain them in the day of your anger; you have killed, and not pitied. You have called as in a solemn day my terrors round about, so that in the day of the LORD’S anger none escaped nor remained: those that I have swaddled and brought up has mine enemy consumed."

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